I find myself talking over and over about my mothers death. To family, friends and strangers. In some ways, I'm having trouble with the concept that someone in apparently good health can just drop dead. Curiously, others around me share the difficulty. I am hearing the assertion "But she was sick a long time, wasn't she?"
Nope.
My mom worked 37 hours the week she died--she died 7 hours into a ten hour shift.
People also ask "Did they do CPR?"
Yup.
Sadly, CPR only works in about 12% of cases.
I talked with Roarinfire this afternoon. I was only able to think this through as I was talking to her (thanks Roarinfire, BTW). I feel like its a revelation to some people I talk to that bodies can just wear out. In my mother's case, it was her heart that wore out before anything else.
I'm grateful that my mothers death was quick and as easy as these things go. The witnesses tell me that she never reported any pain before she lost conciousness. Her last breaths were described by one woman as "sighs of relief". But it is hard on those of us left behind.
My mother's death puts a whole new spin on my own health problems. I desperately want to recover my own health and I continue to rely on the people in my life. Thank you all.
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3 comments:
Don't worry about the babbling. You need to talk about it. That's how we process life changing events that happen to us. I know I did my fair share of babbling about my own father's recent death.
You can babble to me any time you need to.
Oh and You're welcome, BTW.
Love you...
What Roarinfire said.
And I love you.
Hey. I got and appreciate your message. Very thoughtful.
Because I haven't spoken with you in a while I wasn't aware of what had happened to you. It seems like we're entering into a very melancholy stage. People around us are either passing away (my paternal grandmother passed away a couple of weeks ago, my maternal grandmother a couple of years ago), or are being stricken with illness (a colleague had a stroke).
But what gives me a bit of peace is knowing that there are people who care about me. And times like this remind me of a random encounter with a beautiful person in a chain bookstore in Ann Arbor. My life trajectory wouldn't have been different if that encounter didn't happen...but the quality of my life would be a bit worse.
You are loved.
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