I should change the subtitle of this blog to "A record of trying to get through the day with Lyme".
After my last post, I had a wonderful outpouring of support both on and off line so thanks all! I made the comment yesterday to a friend that I had gotten so good at coping with my symptoms that I had forgotten how sick I was. Truly, I haven't felt this bad since I started the thyroid medication. Last summer when I was on antibiotics, I didn't feel this dreadful.
The last time I felt this bad was when I was 22. I did a lot of introspection that year--I had the space to do it in too. I spent most of my days on my mom's couch watching "Oprah". Eventually, I got well enough to work part time and I worked at a New Age bookstore. That was great! I was surrounded by all the self help and alternative healing books that I could read. Plus the owner of the store was some variety of healer. I learned a lot that year about mental states and health. At the end of that two year flare up, I was newly engaged to my husband and putting my feet on the first steps of the path that brought me to this place in my life. I learned an incredible amount in that time and I am grateful. I consider what I was doing and where I was before I got sick and I shudder. Without that illness, I would have had very little reason to change my behavior. And my behavior was not happy making.
So, I'm back to trying to be philosophical.
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Silent Cliff
An image from my first foray onto the Long Trail summer '06
4 comments:
You were engaged for two years? Huh, I totally don't remember that. Of course, I was pretty self-absorbed back then.
We were engaged for one year. The flare up lasted for two years. '90&'91. We got engaged in '92. Married in '93.
We were all pretty self absorbed:)
The space for introspection is always there. It's a matter of choice to avail one's self of it. By this I do not mean to say an easy choice. I often ignore the choice for something easier- like say, Snood. Knitting though, that provides the quiet when I am alone to access that space.
And now you have the Web for... all the self-help and Newage sites you could want. And this community of friends. And a journal which you can already look back upon.
(The evil that is Snood!)
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